A bouquet of salami
Olympia Provisions Salami Bouquet
$70.00 from Food52Who says bouquets have to be floral? This one comes with an assortment of European-inspired salamis you can taste-test together.
A message from their favorite funny celeb
Cameo Message
$1.00 from CameoCameo lets you commission custom videos from celebrities, and there are plenty of fun choices available. You can pick their favorite Real Housewife, sitcom actor, or comedian to deliver a special Valentine's Day message to your beloved.
Custom socks with your faces on them
My Face Socks Custom Face Socks
$9.99 from My Face SocksGive them a practical gift with a lot of personality. You can use a photo of yourself or both of you for a Valentine's surprise they'll wear year-round.
A punny card
Lovepop Like You a Waffle-Lot Pop-Up Card
$13.00 from LovepopThere are plenty of great cards out there for pun lovers, but do they also pop up? Lovepop makes 3D cards they can have on display all holiday long, many of which feature adorable characters.
A cheeky puzzle
Fowl Language Puzzle
$20.00 from Uncommon GoodsThis 1,000-piece puzzle depicts all the birds with names that could make a person blush — from the tufted titmouse to the blue-footed booby. If they're less into puzzles and more into cheeky kitchenware, this pattern also comes in a mug.
A movie poster to help you decide what to watch
Ultimate Movie-Lovers Fill-In Poster
$40.00 from Uncommon GoodsIf you're always fighting about what to watch next, this is a fun (and sweet) way to ensure more time spent in the future that doesn't involve debating your next Netflix show.
A blanket that lets you both customize your coverage
Couples Split Blanket & Sheet Set
$85.00 from Uncommon GoodsIf HBO shows aren't the only things you feel torn about, a split blanket and sheet set that lets you and your partner sleep at your own ideal temperature is the sort of invention that must usher in total peace and prosperity into your life. This one is extra wide, so each person has plenty of wiggle room.
A fancy portrait of their furry BFF
Crown & Paw Custom Pet Painting
$59.95 from Crown & PawIf they're a sucker for anything to do with their pet, get them a fun portrait they'll hang up immediately. Crown & Paw makes antique-looking paintings that look like they belong above a 19th century fireplace. You can get their dog or cat portrayed as an admiral, princess, or similar figure of the past.
A Valentine's-themed plush
Cupid Tayto Potato Mochi Plush
$38.00 from Smoko $36.00 from Barnes & NobleWhether they love potatoes or identify as one of the couch variety, they'll get a kick out of this adorable plush holding a cupid's bow and arrow. It's sweet and cuddly, while still maintaining the perfect amount of quirkiness.
A buildable Lego bouquet
Lego Icons Flower Bouquet 10280 Building Set for Adults (756 Pieces)
$59.99 from Target $59.99 from LEGOIf they love Legos, they'll be blown away by the creativity of a bouquet made of them. You can build it all on your own or, better yet, present them with the box and make a date night out of it.
Heart-shaped toilet bombs
Glitter Hearts Toilet Bombs
$15.00 from Uncommon GoodsPart-gag gift, part-genuinely useful household item, these heart-shaped glitter toilet bombs can be plopped in to remove any smells. If they have a soft spot for poop jokes and cleanliness, you've found your gift.
Lightsaber chopsticks for a romantic dinner
ChopSabers Lightsaber Light-Up Chopsticks
This Valentine's Day, order some sushi, set up a nice table — and surprise them with these bad boys. Whether they're big "Star Wars" fans or just love the idea of eccentric home decor, they'll get a kick out of these.
A customized summer tote
L.L. Bean Boat and Tote, Zip-Top
$39.95 from L.L. BeanWhile summer is still a few months away, you can get them excited with this beach tote — which you can customize with your favorite nickname for them, an inside joke, or any other ironic message that comes to mind.
Matching bread slippers
October Elf Adult Autumn Winter Slippers
$9.99 from AmazonIf your love language is carbs, celebrate it with these slippers they can loaf around in all day. They're the perfect novelty gift that's also really functional, especially in the cold winter months.
An earring that pays homage to their favorite phrase
Y'ALL Stud
$22.00 from StudsValentine's jewelry doesn't have to be all diamonds and hearts to be meaningful. A cute little "y'all" stud is a cheeky, subtle way to nod to their roots.
A personalized "Love Island" water bottle
Personalized "Love Island" Water Bottle
$24.57 from EtsyIf they're big "Love Island fans, they'll love their very own Islander water bottle to sip on the next time you pull them for a chat.
A parody picture book of "Are You My Mother?"
"Are You My Boyfriend?" by C B Bryza
$16.99 from Amazon $16.99 from Barnes & NobleThis is a witty parody of the childhood favorite "Are You My Mother?" that follows a woman's search for love — from the coffee shop to the bookstore. It's a great gift to give single friends — or you can gift it to someone you hope to make your boyfriend.
Matching underwear that's also comfy
MeUndies MatchMe
$34.00 from MeUndiesListen, it's an excellent gift. MeUndies makes some of the softest and most comfortable underwear we've ever tested. Plus, they come in plenty of funny, limited-edition designs.
Some really, really strong coffee
Death Wish Ground Coffee
$17.48 from AmazonDeath Wish claims to be the world's strongest coffee — with about double the caffeine of your average cup — and it should satisfy even the most extreme buzz requirements for your partner. The brand attributes the added kick to a unique blend of Arabica and Robusta beans and a slow roasting process. It's Fair Trade, has no additives, and makes a pretty good cup of coffee.
"Talking Pints" for a low-key date
Talking Pints
$30.00 from Uncommon GoodsIdeal for newer couples, this is a low-key gift that's both A.) an activity that helps you get to know each other better in a less formal way and B.) a fun keepsake.
A pillow that feels like a great long-distance hug
Muscle Man Pillow
$48.99 from AmazonCan't be there in person? Say no more. If you'd rather personalize it, you can even get a pillow of just your face.
A heartwarming book you can make funny
"What I Love About You by Me" Book
$10.00 from Knock KnockVia PakApNews